Whenever I read about a whale washing up on the beach,
I wonder - how big are his gloves?
What do you call a Magician who can’t do magic tricks anymore?..
…Ian!
Stealing that one! 
Good for you, Dave. That’s wot i did 
My wife got stung on her forehead by a bee. She’s in E.R. now, her face all swollen and bruised - she almost died!
Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.
Already zombies
I went out for a cycle ride today and some idiot threw a bottle of Omega-3 capsules at me…
Fortunately i only sustained super fish oil injuries.
Stole it! lol TY
… great photo, problem is the third one still has its boots on.
Biggest larf was it took Mrs Mike best part of a minute to get the punch line
I have just bought myself a great new pen, it even writes underwater… it writes other words as well.
Gosh - that came around again quickly…
“What goeth around, cometh around… or thtopth.”
Motto of Clan Igor of Überwald.