I’ve just Fostered a Dog .
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Hope you didn’t have to drink the awful stuff!
steve
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Physics Teacher: What happens when you immerse a body into a bath of water?
Pupil: The phone rings!
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No but I found someone who loves it 
.
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Does anyone know if I can buy Clothes Pegs online?
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Reminds me of a Goth nightclub in Soho that we used to frequent!
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I called my wife at work.
I asked “Do you ever get a stabbing pain across your body, like someone’s made a voodoo doll of you and is sticking puns in it?”
“No!”
“How about…now?”
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Another witty remark from Ciren’:
As I get older I find I only need 3 shops, Specsavers, Boots and Greggs…
My life is just specs and drugs and sausage rolls…
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Tonym’s puns, how painful!
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My neighbour spent yesterday laying out turf in his front garden. Last night someone stole it all.
He’s out there now, looking forlorn.
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Tell him not to worry, those thieves are going to get grassed-up.
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I once had a chat with Elvis about certain supermarkets ; Waitrose, Co-op, Sainsburys, Morrisons, Tesco, Asda and Aldi…
It was a Lidl-less conversation.
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If your rice is too soggy just leave it overnight in a bowl of mobile phones.
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Got to weed out these terrible jokes …
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There’s a new place near me that I just can’t stand.
My local ice rink.
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