I always laugh in the face of adversity. I think that’s the principle reason I lost my job as a grief counsellor.
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I’m not seeing that one. Mind you, I was never very good at ‘Catchphrase’.
G
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Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a prize?
For being “Out standing in his field”.
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I’ve just bought shares in a cement factory in Devon.
You can’t go wrong if you put your money in Brixham Mortar…
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WHY did the birds finally stop fighting?
They signed a peace tweety.
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Until yesterday, I was going out with a professional tennis player. I had to end the relationship when I realised that love meant nothing to her.
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Someone who recognizes themselves…
.
loved that one 
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Good to see this is universal 
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You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you’ve lost is a pigeon.
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How do you think the unthinkable ?
With an itheberg.
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I have a genetic predisposition for diarrhoea.
It runs in my jeans.
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What do hipster pirates do in New York?
They visit the Museum of Modern Aaaaarrrrrrrhhhhhh
Death Star Commander: “I don’t own any George Michael records.”
Darth Vader: “I find your lack of Faith disturbing.”
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What do you call somebody who hangs around with musicians?
A drummer.
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At the risk of making this thread temporarily redundant, search for ‘MIT musician jokes’ to find the world’s largest supply of musician stereotypes - not just drummers, either.
Mark
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My wife and I always try to be together at 12:59 - we enjoy that one to one time.
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This is an old one, so brace yourself!
Two cannibals eating a clown. One says “Does this taste funny to you?”
Sorry.
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