I bet Harry Kane still managed to trip over you 
2 Likes
As always Mac gets it just right 
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Wish i’d been the inventor of Ovaltine.
I’d be a malty millionaire by now.
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I bought my friend an elephant for his room.
He said “thanks”.
I said, “don’t mention it”.
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Popped down to the local Pool yesterday --I was taking a Piss in the Deep end ( as you do) and the Lifeguard blew his whistle so hard I nearly fell in.
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To the guy who robbed me and stole my anti-depressants.
I hope you’re happy now.
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I don’t trust stairs, They’re always up to something.
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My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed my bags and I right!
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Why do you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
Because they’re good at it.
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Ah, one of my favourites!
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A company I used to work for used these guys in Leamington Spa. I believe they were very good.
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This company name always raised a smile in the office!
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After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, Canadian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.
Not to be outdone by their neighbours, in the weeks that followed, an American Archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times:
“American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their Ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 50 years earlier than the Canadians”.
One week later, the British authorities reported the following:
"After digging as deep as 30 feet in North Yorkshire, Jack Arkwright, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely f*** all.
Jack has therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Britain had already gone wireless."
Just makes you bloody proud to be British, don’t it!
28 Likes