Best jokes

I think profanity is fine if it’s heartfelt, and not just intended to shock or be subversive.

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It annoys me when in movies some words get added just, it seems, to ensure a higher audience rating. Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy especially comes to mind here.

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I too fall into the camp where I find it slightly sad, that a joke posted, especially where it may well have attracted several “likes”, is likely to be removed on the objection, as quoted, of a single forum member.

What, even where our esteemed moderator couldn’t resist a chuckle?

World’s gone mad.

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Good one … and of course, I like those comedians.
I was really just suggesting slightly less excessive humour on this forum. No big deal tho.

Billy Connolly’s monologue on the appropriate use of ‘f*ck’ is absolutely one exception to the above.

G

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I’ll look that up. Must be on You-tube I guess?

Warning: Swearing in an appropriate manner which may offend some

G

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Well, that was just frickin’ hilarious!!
Thanks for that. It’ll give my wife a good laugh when she gets home …

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Mark & Lard’s ‘Mull of F’Kintyre’ is one of the best ‘almost expletive’ clips… for record collectors too!

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This might be a good point at which to point out that other forums are available for those who would prefer a different moderation policy. This isn’t the only restaurant in town, chaps: if you don’t like it, vote with your feet.

Mark

…and for those who insist on me posting a joke:

Meatloaf got married to an accountant. She’ll do anything for love, but she won’t do VAT.

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True. Nice man too. Also a surgeon Dr G Stone who does gall stone removal …

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No sorry, you just can’t polish that.

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No politics here please, thanks.

JOF, I have messaged you.

Naim have asked that all politics are left at the door when you enter the forum. As such any political posts, whether “jokes” or making fun of political figure, are removed here. That has been the case for quite some time, so please respect forum rules. Thank you.

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A man walks into a brothel and speaks to the Old Madame up front.

The Madame asks “What kind of girl would you like?”

The man says, “Well looks aren’t important, I just need a girl who’ll say yes to anything. And I mean anything.”

“Well that shouldn’t be too hard,” chuckled the Madame. “Jennifer! Come over and help this man here.” And with that, a gorgeous woman walked out, took the man by the arm, and led him upstairs and into a small room.

Not a minute later, Jennifer stormed out and yelled “Not in a million years!”

The man walked back down to the Madame and asked if there was a girl who was more open to new things.

The Madame said “Of course. Hey Primrose, come over here!” And a slender pretty woman walked over.

“Prim’s a true professional,” the Madame assured. “She’ll take any requests no problem.”

But not a minute later, Prim also stormed out of the room. ‘Since when is this a House of Prudes?’ The Madame thought.

The Madame walked over to the dejected-looking man and said, “I’m terribly sorry sir. I tell you what: if you’re fine with an old lady like me, I’ll treat you, half-price. I’ve worked these halls most my life, there’s nothing you could ask for that would disgust me.”

The man straightened up and said, “That’s wonderful! Well then, I was wondering if you would accept an IOU.”

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