Bench in Margate UK:
15 Likes
Having seen Scotland play today, I think I’ll choose Moira.
9 Likes
I told the wife I would like to donate my dead body to medical research anatomy students.
She’s got me booked in next Tuesday.
7 Likes
I have recently put memory foam insole in my shoes.
Have noticed that I am forgetting less why I have walked into a room.
6 Likes
What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
7 Likes
Even after 42 years of marriage I’m no nearer understanding women’s thinking…
Wife buys husband two ties for Christmas &, being no fool, he decides to please her by wearing one on Christmas day.
He walks in with the tie on, she turns to look at him & says ‘& what’s wrong with the other one?’.
13 Likes
Husband & wife are on a long haul flight when the Captain’s voice comes over the planes intercom, ‘Ladies & Gentleman, sorry to tell you that we have had a complete engine failure & will be plunging into the ocean in 10 minutes & we are all going to die’.
Wife says to husband ‘You’ve been a great husband to me so treat me like a real women for the last time’.
‘Are you sure’ says the husband, ‘with all these people watching?’.
‘What does it matter, we’ve only got 10 minutes to live’.
‘OK’ he says, ‘I’ll treat you like a real women for one last time’.
At that he takes of his shirt, throws it at her & says ‘Iron that!’.
4 Likes
Look at that.
You wait weeks for a sexist or racist joke and then three of them come along all at once.
9 Likes
This isn’t a joke but it is bloody funny.
@Pete_the_painter and anyone else from the Western Isles you live in a special place, with special creatures!
1 Like
Chap walks into Doctor’s office.
Says, “I’ve got a very odd issue at the moment, it’s like I keep hearing strange voices coming from my crotch area.”
Doctor: “I suggest you ignore them, they’re just talking bollocks.”
17 Likes
Was it the same guy who went to the docs with a steering wheel attached to his genitals, saying ‘doc this is driving me nuts’?
6 Likes
