I actually think he said that in the HOP
Apparently it was to Bessie Bradock MP outside parliament in 1946. Although I believe he was quoting W C Fields from a film in 1934.
A horse walks into a bar, dripping in sweat and orders a drink.
At the other end of the bar is a donkey.
Donkey say’s to the horse “blimey, you ok, what have you been doing?”
“Absolutely knackered” says the horse, “I’ve just won a race, I’ve won everything, from the Grand National to the local Derby”.
“Wow” say’s the donkey, “let me buy you another drink!”
“Thanks” say’s the horse “but I must dash”
“Well how about you come over to my place tomorrow and we can catch up properly” says the donkey.
“Yes ok” says the horse.
So the donkey says cheerio. Walking home he starts worrying himself about what he’s going to tell the horse what he used to do for a living. He walks past a junk shop and sees a picture of a Zebra for sale in the window.
He buys it and takes it home, hanging it in the lounge.
Following day the horse comes over for dinner.
Donkey hands the horse a drink and during conversation the horse asks the donkey “so then what is it you used to do for a living?”
Donkey turns and looks up at the picture of the Zebra on the wall and says “Oh, I used to play for Juventus!”
What do you call a pile of cats?
A meow-tain
That’s not what I say when I tread in one in my garden.
A new vaccine has just been developed, it provides protection from two conditions: Platonism and Sophism.
It’s called Astra-Seneca.
I said to the pet shop owner
“I would like a taller stand for my parrot but I haven’t much money. Can I get one and pay it off?”
He replied:
“I’m afraid we don’t do higher perches.”
May there always be an England!
I just found out that Albert Einstein really existed!
I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
To the person who stole my glasses: I will find you…
I have contacts.
Don’t make a spectacle of yourself!
Can’t see it, myself. 
When I went to get my Covid jab, for some strange reason they gave it in my leg rather than my arm.
Now my Pfizer hurting.
Bet you’re glad you didn’t get the other jab then!