This thread is called Best jokes for a reason. Maybe leave related discussions elsewhere, and mediocre jokes in the bin.
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Anyone? Please do, by all means, tell a joke…
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When things aren’t very well then laughter is the best medicine.
Unless you’re diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.
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My mother in law cooked us a roast dinner on Sunday.
She asked me how many potatoes I’d like.
“Oh, just the one please…”, I said.
“Ooh”, she says “You don’t have to be polite”
“Oh, OK, just the one please you miserable cow”
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Went to a gig last night, figured it was a tribute act.
“The Pretenders”
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“Always leave them wanting more” my dad said.
Probably why he got fired from Oxfam.
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Aldi France have started selling quattro stagioni pizzas.
Vive Aldi!
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I just got my dream job as a cabinet maker.
The interview board were glued to their seat, I thought I’d screwed it up but in the end , I nailed it.
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I once thought about doing that but I shelved the idea.
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A chap emailed in to the Ken Bruce show on R2 this morning. He said that as a consequence of the Facebook, WhatsApp and Instagram ‘outage’ last night, he had decided to actually speak with his family instead. But he was a bit surprised to find his other half had left a while ago.
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Back to cycling…
Here is the birthday card my dear, loving wife gave me in 2016, a few months after I started cycling again at the age of 61, after last riding a bike when I was 16. Probably a ring of truth in there…
Because I spent so much on a bike & the gear I am still doing it, despite totally failing to understand why so many (including all the cyclists I know) think it’s so wonderful. I dislike almost everything about it.
On the lycra issue, I initially felt stupid wearing it (along with a helmet) but agree with some on here that it really is best for long rides & I certainly feel safer wearing a helmet.
As time has passed I have come to realise that, other than my wife, fully cycling gear is seen as normal by other people who don’t bat an eyelid at it. I therefore don’t feel self conscious at all despite accepting that lycra is possibly not the best look for a 66 year old!
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A teacher had an all girls class and asked them to name something that ends in tor but also eats things.
Mary as quick as a flash said Alligator the teacher said that was excellent upon looking around she saw Jane had her hand up and asked what is your word ? Predator was the reply the teacher said another very good word.
Next up was Lucy she replied Vibrator Miss the teacher said that wouldn’t count as a Vibrator doesn’t eat anything.
Lucy said are you sure miss as I heard my mum on the phone to her friend this morning and she said her Vibrator eats batteries like there’s no tomorrow?
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Here’s an oldie, but still good…
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Stiff neck?
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The Facebook outage was so bad that I had to go to knock on my neighbour’s door to show them what I was having for dinner!
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Serious question, but what is the rationale behind cyclists shaving their legs…?
Done by amateurs it’s essentially a sign of belonging to a community. The original reason pro cyclists did it was two-fold - a. to make leg massage easier and less painful, and b. to make road rash and dressings easier to cope with in the event of a crash.
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I did it because
A I have horrible hairy legs
B rain runs off quickly, the nice part of that being
C my legs felt warmer as a result
D my legs tanned quicker
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