Fcuk nose?
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In a similar naughty-filter-avoiding vein:
Teacher asks the class for a sentence with the word contagious. Little Johnny puts up his hand. “My Dad saw our neighbour painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and he said ‘Jaysus, that’ll take the contagious’”.
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Whats the difference between an Organist and a Terrorist?
You can negotiate with a Terrorist.
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Reminds me of my favourite viola joke.
A bank robber walks into a bank holding a violin case and says , " Hand over the money I’ve got a gun in here "
A bank robber walks into a bank holding a viola case and says , " Hand over the money I’ve got a viola in here "
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Strangely, that has just become my ‘favourite viola joke’.
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What’s the difference between a viola player and a pizza?
A pizza can feed a family of four.
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What’s the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
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What’s the difference between a viola and an onion?
No one cries if you slice a viola to bits.
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What’s the difference between a chainsaw and a viola?
If you were completely desperate, you could use a chainsaw in a string quartet.
(One of my best friends is a concert cellist. She has a rich seam of viola jokes. These are those I remember.)
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What’s the difference between a viola and a coffin?
A coffin has dead people on the inside
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What’s the difference between a viola and a vacuum cleaner?
A vacuum cleaner has to be plugged in before it sucks
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As a banjo player, I approve this thread.
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How can you tell when a viola is out of tune?
The bow moves
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My first wife was a cello teacher and played in various orchestras and several chamber ensembles over the years .The viola players were always the butt of many jokes .
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I just saw a dyslexic Yorkshireman.
He had a cat flap on his head.
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What do you call someone that hangs around with musicians?
A viola player.
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Lol… I always thought the answer was ‘a drummer’.
(What is it about violas?
Not sure I’d recognise what one sounds like, tbh.)