When I was younger I wanted to be a banker .
But then I lost interest.
I can’t imagine Yoko Ono being any good at kicking the ball, even more so being on target.
Barry Cryer’s latest favourite joke from The Oldie .
Diagnostic …A Welshman who’s unsure if God exist .
Following in a long line of Dai jokes, one of which includes the German spy (other spies are available) who is sent to Wales and told his contact is Dai, with the introduction of ‘The tulips look good today’.
Up he rocks and there are so many called Dai in the village he’s confused. So he stops at a house and utters the introduction and the non-plussed homeowner responds - ‘If you’re after Dai the spy, he lives 3 doors down’.
Women and golf
Useless at driving but good with an iron
Say that to a woman on a golf course and she may, justifiably, take an iron to one of your balls!
Either way would leave you lying in the rough!
And distinctly tee’d off
And feeling very below par
Just phoned SeaWorld -
A recorded message said my call was being recorded for training porpoises.
And remember … there’s always two sides to a divorce.
Yours and a** hole’s …
I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
Tried calling the tinnitus helpline. No answer - just kept ringing.
My new stairlift keeps driving me up the wall