Autopsy Club Party Here This Saturday! Open Mike Night!
oldie but great:
I’m on an alcohol only diet - lost 3 weeks already
For a brief moment I thought I had accidentally opened the motorhomes and caravans thread
Just dropped into the car dealer in town, found a sales guy and said “Can I talk to you about the Volvo V40 in your showroom window?” He says “we’re an Audi dealer mate, we don’t have a V40 in the window.” “Yeah, well you have now” I said.
Were you wearing a hat?
Crash helmet. The wife recommends it, as did our kids, my best mate and also most of my siblings. They must think I’m a great driver, up there with Lewis Hamilton.
“We are very proud to have this displayed above the front door.”
What a great plaque .
It is good to see the correct use of an apostrophe.
Forgive me but my first thought was that’s John Atkinson of Stereophile.
Plato said Socrates said this…
Plato, they say, could stick it away;
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he’s pissed!
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
There was a young man from Kent,
Who’s … oh, forget it …
Old boy farmer lives on his remote farm with his wife & three daughters. One night there’s a knock on the door, he opens it to see a hopeful young man.
“The name’s Joe, I’ve come for Flo, we’re going to a show.”
“Wait there a minute” says the farmer and goes off to fetch his eldest.
10 minutes later another knock.
“The name’s Vance, I’ve come for Nance, we’re going to a dance.”
“Wait there” says the farmer.
A bit later, another knock.
“The name’s Tucker…”
“Eeeh lad, come on in, but keep the noise down if you could.”