I asked my Wife,
“Do you think your Mother would prefer Riverdance or something more Fred Astaireish”…???
She replied,
“I think she’d prefer it if you stayed off her grave all together, you sick §@$t4r>”
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Thar’s not a joke, it’s my life.
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For our honeymoon I got a map of the world, gave my wife a dart, and said we’d go wherever the dart lands!
I’m happy to announce in August we’re going to spend a lovely 2 weeks picknicking next to the skirting board!
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Tumble dryers are so last Century! These days I do all my drying on line.
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Made Oi larf, Tony. 
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You liked it so much, you thought it was worth telling again? 
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A businessman was interviewing job applications for the position of manager of a large division. He quickly devised a test for choosing the most suitable candidate. He simply asked each applicant this question, “What is two plus two?” The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was, “Twenty-two”. The second was a social worker. She said, “I don’t know the answer but I’m very glad that we had the opportunity to discuss it.” The third applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and came up with an answer “somewhere between 3.999 and 4.001.” Next came an attorney. He stated that “in the case of Jenkins vs. the Department of the Treasury, two plus two was proven to be four.” Finally, the businessman interviewed an accountant. When he asked him what two plus two was, the accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door, closed it, came back and sat down. Leaning across the desk, he said in a low voice, “How much do you want it to be?” He got the job.
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We really need to start thinking about what kind of planet we are leaving for Keef Richards.
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Do you agree with this 
.Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I DO
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100% agree, far to much of the brown stuff is everywhere, and this forum in particular has far far more than is good for it.
A bit too close to the bone, that one…
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