But I can wholly sympathise. When I find myself using pretentious words, I always think of this:
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Excited to announce I’m taking over as lead cream-injector at the company near me that makes the world’s largest profiteroles. Big chouxs to fill, I know.
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I think I might’ve caught this Lebanese flu that’s going around.
I falafel.
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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye, matey!
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How do pirates save lives?
C P Aaaaarh!
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My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall to her.
I said maybe
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Hi, Dave here.
My wife thinks she’s a real comedian at times.
I called her at work the other day and when she answered I said, “Hi, it’s the love of yer life.”
She said, “Paul?”. And a little too entusiastically for my liking …
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Why do birds suddenly appear…
OK, I can understand the sentiment; but really, do they have to be vultures?
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What has eight legs, eight eyes and eight hands ?
Eight pirates
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Behind every angry woman stands a man
who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong.
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Before I got married, I had no idea that there was a wrong way to put milk back into the fridge.
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Borrowed from the Tiger Lilies.
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I have forwarded that cartoon to my daughter who did a post-graduate degree in animal physchology!
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I’m never more nervous than when I insist that we are out of something and my wife goes to look for it herself.
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