Good old Gary. He has flat out made me laugh out loud at times. No easy task.
The cow “Car!” for one.
Sometimes, he reminds me of Thurber in that respect. And sometimes, though less so, of the inimitable Don Adams (who could be more slapstick).
Good old Gary. He has flat out made me laugh out loud at times. No easy task.
The cow “Car!” for one.
Sometimes, he reminds me of Thurber in that respect. And sometimes, though less so, of the inimitable Don Adams (who could be more slapstick).
Great headline.
Chap called Parkinson?
Reminds me of some of the posts on the forum.
Sprechgesang. That’s easy for you to say.
Otherwise known as cider.
Clearing out the garage, I found a very old printout (in dot matrix on tractor-feed paper, if that stirs any nostalgia!) of some rather niche and geeky maths/physics jokes. Many of them are familiar, but here are some that I think might be less so:
A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are out hunting together when they spot a deer walking in the woods.
The physicist calculates the speed of the deer and of his rifle round, the effect of gravity and wind on the round, takes aim and fires. The bullet passes a metre behind the deer.
The engineer says ‘Well, what do you expect with an ordinary rifle?’ He then takes aim with his custom-made hunting rifle - which he has rigged together from an actual rifle, a sextant, compass, barometer, GPS monitor and a bunch of flashing lights that don’t actually do anything but look really impressive - and fires. Alas, though, the bullet passes a metre ahead of the deer.
‘Well’ says the physicist, ‘it seems neither of us can shoot that deer’
‘What do you mean’ the mathematician says, ‘between the two of you, it was a perfect shot’
Footnote: how did they each know it was a deer? The physicist observed it was behaving in a deer-like manner, so it must be a deer. The mathematician asked the physicist what it was, thus reducing it to a previously solved problem. The engineer was in the woods to hunt deer, therefore it was a deer.
A mathematician, a physicist an engineer and a computer scientist are each tasked to test the claim that all odd numbers greater than 2 are prime.
A lawyer, a doctor and a mathematician are discussing the relative merits of having a wife or mistress (with apologies for the gender specificity).
The lawyer says ‘A mistress is definitely better. If you have a wife and want a divorce, it can produce all sorts of legal problems’
The doctor says ‘No, a wife is better: the sense of the security lowers your stress which is good for your health’
The mathematician says ‘You’re both wrong. It’s best to have both so the wife always thinks you’re with your mistress and the mistress always thinks you’re with your wife. Meanwhile, you can get on with doing some mathematics without any distractions’