Got to be a maths nerd to appreciate that one. 
Jesus walks into a bar and orders 12 glasses of water.
He then winks to his disciples.
-
I’ve met another lady (in addition to Naim personnel) with a Naim HiFi.
-
I am lady with a Naim HiFi!
A bird was flying to warmer climes for winter, but had left a bit late.
During the flight, it got so cold that the bird couldn’t fly anymore and being frozen, fell to the earth.
The bird landed in a field with some cattle and in a short while, one of the the cows crapped on the bird.
The bird was thinking, now what else can go wrong, I’m a goner here.
However, the bird soon realised that the cow crap was actually thawing him out and it was beginning to feel better.
Happy with the situation, the bird began to chirp and cheep as the better it felt.
A while later, a cat was walking through the field and heard the bird singling and cheeping away.
The cat found the cow pat, dug the bird out and promptly ate it.
The moral of the story;
- Not everyone who craps on you is bad
- Not everyone who digs you out of the crap is good
- When you’re happy in the crap, don’t sing about it.
DG…
Bit spooky.
Cowboys used to hang lanterns off each side of their saddles, to help find their way whilst riding at night.
This is believed to be the earliest form of saddle light navigation.
Sorry. 
I changed the voice on my GPS to Bono’s. Now the streets have no names and I still haven’t found what I’m looking for …
When my ex was driving I would sit in the passenger seat with a map and navigate…
I was the sat nav!
Boom boom! 
Let’s eat Grandma.
as opposed to…
Let’s eat, Grandma.
Punctuation saves lives.
Grammar:
The difference between:
Knowing your sh1t
and
Knowing you’re sh1t.
Or whether one’s in it.
