A man once told his son that if he wanted to live a long life the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his cornflakes every morning. The son did this religiously every morning, and lived to be 104.
When he died, he left 9 children, 28 grandchildren, 87 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
I LAUNCHED my own clothing line this week. I shouldn’t of lit the fireworks near the washing.
In Germany, I think it is, they are doing something like this - putting lights in the pavement to tell people when to go or stop - because of mobile phone use.
Shouldn’t OF?!
It’s a regular thing found in many of his posts. Our streaming fan here doesn’t grasp the difference between have and of, despite it being flagged up numerous times. Best ignored…
is that a joke?
Bought a fantastic high-powered electric fan yesterday. Love it, it’s completely blown me away.
I was in two minds about shelling out £5000 on a seminar on reincarnation, but then I thought heck you only live once.
It used to puzzle me where the sun went overnight, but I stayed up all night pondering it and then it dawned on me.
Just sketched a female lamb in the snow, playing with a toy donkey rattle for a Christmas card idea.
Icy ewe baby, shakin’ that ass.
Have you noticed how many racing drivers are named after Scottish places?
Lewis Hamilton
Eddie Irvine
Sterling Moss
Ayr Town Centre
When the Vikings were in England, they used to conduct all their funerals at Burnham-on-Sea.
Stirling Moss
G
Bloody autocorrect!
