I detect the ghost of Tommy Cooper on this thread today. No bad thing.
4 Likes
It was 3 in the morning and I was banging on the hotel door.
A lady opened the door and said “what do you want ?”
I said “I would like to stay here”
She said “well you stay there then” and slammed the door.
13 Likes
One of Chic Murray’s finest … … … … a comic who turned “droll” into an art form. 
3 Likes
Another Chic Murray.
Walking home with a quarter bottle in his back pocket.
Falls on his arse and feels the wet and says.
I hope it’s blood. 
6 Likes
I adore Chic Murray (the Scottish Tommy Cooper) and his daft jokes:
I met this cowboy with a brown paper hat, paper waistcoat and paper trousers. He was wanted for rustling.
More like this here: [36 best Chic Murray jokes: the most hilarious quips and one-liners(https://www.scotsman.com/whats-on/arts-and-entertainment/36-best-chic-murray-jokes-the-most-hilarious-quips-and-one-liners-from-the-greenock-born-comedian-2535836)
4 Likes
Funnyosities and The Best Way to Laugh : Chic Murray’s Bumper Fun Book.
I have both of these, pickupable on Amazon at less than a tenner for the pair!
2 Likes
I told a joke on a Zoom meeting. No-one laughed. It turns out I’m not remotely funny.
14 Likes
At the age of 65 my grandma started walking 10 miles a day. She’s 92 now. We have no idea where she is.
13 Likes
I still enjoy regular sex at 85.
I live at number 79, it’s very handy.
19 Likes
My dad could always do the work of two men.
Unfortunately those two men were Laurel and Hardy.
9 Likes
A seriously good day on the Joke thread.
9 Likes
My wife told me sex was way better on holiday.
Not a good postcard to get.
16 Likes
I think my new girlfriend’s a keeper.
Massive gloves.
7 Likes
I still have that, and it’s on my IPad
3 Likes
Pull the udder one.
I’ll get my coat
1 Like
Bloke goes to a doctor with hearing problems.
“Can you describe the symptoms?”
“Yep, Homer’s a fat slob and Marge has massive blue hair.”
9 Likes
When my wife is depressed I let her colour in my tattoos. She just needs a shoulder to crayon.
14 Likes
What one would term “lit” in the year 2023.
E.g. “The Naim joke thread is lit today.”
2 Likes