Buck…
Gosh, it’s much more difficult than I thought.
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Dear Christopher_M,
You are a very naughty boy!
That it the second time in a week that you have re-cycled a joke from the Radio 4 6.30pm comedy within hours of its broadcast!
Still funny, though!
Best wishes,
Brian D.
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Plagiarism on the Naim forum? Surely not!
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Quite right, Brian, you and @crispyduck have called me out for attempting to portray myself here on the forum, as a funny and amusing man.
The shameful truth could not be more different.
I’m a dour, seriously unfunny, soap-dodging loser, for whom the wireless is his only friend. And talking of which…now let’s meet the teams…
Best,
Chris
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V good!
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That must be an American joke. I’ve never understood why they use that word. 
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How does Gosh fit you’ve lost me.
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Never do snow angels in a dog park
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Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.
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Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!”
He said, “Nobody loves me.”
I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”
He said, “Yes.”
I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”
He said, “A Christian.”
I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?”
He said, “Protestant.”
I said, “Me, too! What franchise?”
He said, “Baptist.”
I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Baptist.”
I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.”
I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.”
I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?”
He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”
I said, “Die heretic!” And I pushed him over.
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Good morning Chris,
That is an excellent rely!
Of course, the opening sentence of my original message to you was not all my own work, so a degree of re-cycling is perfectly acceptable.
However, if un-referenced material becomes commonplace, we’ll have to ask Samantha to take you in hand.
Best wishes,
Brian D
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Samantha’s nipped off to help the old man next door, who was having trouble using his stairlift.
Every night, she would put him on downstairs and then have to pull him off on the landing.
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What ever happened to Emo Phillips? could not move for him on the comedy circuit one moment and then never seen again.
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Our minister loved to mention these jokes in Sunday services 
he also liked life of Brian.
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Thanks to Freud.
G
I remember that at a Regimental do one time, the Padre put a grape at the back legs of a horse figure from the Regimental Silverware and said, “Look, the horse has shat itself”.
DG…
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Emo Phillips was one of the great slew of comedians in the 80’s: Bill Hicks another. Just a few Emo lines that others might like:
Some mornings, it’s just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
I think my ex-girlfriend has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don’t know what she charges him.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
So I’m at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.
Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed my girlfriend out of her chair.
When I was ten, my family moved to Downer’s Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.
You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.
I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don’t know what he looks like.
I’m not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?
I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it’s hard to find 32 of them
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
I picked up a hitch hiker. You’ve got to when you hit them
Don’t wear fur! Did you know, a single fur coat takes fifteen trees, just for the protest signs?
What is eternity? You’re on the checkout line at a supermarket. There are seven people in front of you. They are all old. They all have two carts and coupons for every item. They are all paying by check. None of them have ID. It’s the checkout girl’s first day on the job. She doesn’t speak any English. Take away fifteen minutes from that, and you begin to get an idea of what eternity is.
When I was a kid, my favourite time of the year when I was child was that magical first snowfall. I’d yell Yippee! Snow! and run up to the front door and shout You know the deal… You have to let me in now.
I read that nine out of 10 women fantasize about having an unknown man leap through their bedroom window at night and make mad, passionate love to them. Who would think with those odds, I would now be facing 150 hours of community service.
I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.
My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, how are you going to get into the corners?”
My parents were very protective. I couldn’t even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets
I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don’t know I’m only using blanks.
The battle of the sexes will never be won as long as we keep sleeping with the enemy.
Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: ‘A truck!’
My girlfriend said, Just buy me something crazy and expensive, something I don’t even need! So, I signed her up for radiation treatment
I go to pick up a girl in a bar. I say will you go home with me? She says I don’t know, do you have cable? I say no, but the rope should work just fine.
Sometimes my mother goes through my socks and underwear. I wouldn’t mind, but it tickles so much!
I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend.
I don’t know if I have sexual magnetism or animal magnetism, though sometimes I’ll find a squirrel stuck to my forehead
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Saw him live in the late 80s in Manchester’s Opera House, which is every bit as ornate as you would expect from a rich Victorian textile city. Emo came on stage, looked around at the décor and said:
Wow, they really don’t make places like this any more. Not since they outlawed child labour.
Mark
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