I know they only pick the ones that can’t get the answer out of all that they asked, but still…damn!
A sad state of affairs… 
I wonder how that would go in the UK.
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I doubt. I once was on the district line listening into a conversation between an obvious football supporter and his girlfriend (supposedly). She looked like a duck and she did not get what he was saying because she didn’t know Poland was a country. I still remember her question ‘Poland, is that a country?’ That was the max words she managed to put in a sentence.
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A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial – an elderly woman. He approached her and asked, “Mrs. Jones, do you know me?”
She responded, “Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you’ve been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you’re a rising big shot when you haven’t the brains to realise you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.”
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, “Mrs. Williams, do you know the defence attorney?”
She again replied, “Why, yes I do. I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to babysit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He’s lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can’t build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.”
At this point the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counsellors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, “If either of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!”
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A man walks up to the bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order.
The man says, “I’ll have a beer,” and turns to the ostrich. “What’s yours?”
“I’ll have a beer too,” says the ostrich.
The bartender pours the beer and says, “That will be $3.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again, and the man says “I’ll have a beer,” and the ostrich says “I’ll have the same.” Once again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with the exact change.
This became a routine until late one evening, the two enter again. “The usual?” asks the bartender.”Well, it’s close to last call, so I’ll have a large Scotch” says the man. “Same for me” says the ostrich. “That will be $7.20” says the bartender. Once again the man pulls exact change out of his pocket and places it on the bar.
The bartender can’t hold back his curiosity any longer. “Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change out of your pocket every time?”
“Well,” says the man, “several years ago I was cleaning the attic and I found this old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was if I ever needed to pay for anything, I just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money will be there.”
“That’s brilliant!” says the bartender. “Most people would wish for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!”
“That’s right! Whether it’s a litre of milk, or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,” says the man.
“That’s fantastic!” says the bartender. “You are a genius! … Oh, one other thing sir, what’s with the ostrich?”
The man replies, “Oh, my second wish was for a chick with long legs.”
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She looked like a duck? Are you sure she didn’t just have a bill?
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I really just don’t understand the ridiculous trend for the ‘trout pout’. Why do so many do that to themselves???
OK, so I actually do understand that this is the current trend and ‘in-look’ and accept that each generation must have it’s own fads…but really??
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I remember the days where women would ask, anxiously, “Does my bum look big in this?”, which I always took to require “No, not at all” as the answer. And now many women seem to do all they can to make their bum look ridiculously huge. Very strange.
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The word ‘grotesque’ springs to mind…
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A girlfriend once, mistakenly, asked me *that of a thong.
“Like a cheese wire through blancmange.”
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I always thought the correct answer was ‘ no it looks big in everything’.
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Ah - you are a masochist, then?
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I may have been divorced more than once. 
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(Very dark humour I know) but at least they don’t have to tell people where the escape exits are, as they simply reveal themselves 
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