Best jokes

Presumably extra legroom seats will get cheaper too.

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Perhaps Boeing need to amend their marketing strap-line to ‘Free parachute with every flight’?

Of course, Ryanair would charge you for additional carry-on :scream:

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ah - very sensible.

It pays to be well rested before a Ryan Air flight, otherwise they’ll charge you for having bags under you eyes…!

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You get a life jacket on a plane not a parachute, probably because all the parachutes are on the cruise ships.

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Nah, but okay then…:smirk:

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It’s a Sting operation!

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Until they sang “Roxanne” I thought it was The Doors

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Her: “Does my bum look big?”
Me: “Do I look stupid?”

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When I’m out with my kids and we get to a crosswalk, I annoy them by singing “:musical_note: Walk sign … yuuu don’t have to put on the re-e-d light :notes: …”

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Real laziness is getting up at 6 a.m. to have more time to do nothing.

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That or an atypical insomnia.

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Whenever you talk to your wife, remind yourself:
“This conversation will be recorded for training and quality purposes”

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Doctor: “are you involved in any dangerous sports?”
Me: “well, sometimes I disagree with my wife”

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A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is “Carmen.”

“That’s a beautiful name,” he replied. "Is it a family name?”

“No,” she replied. "As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most - cars and men. Therefore, I chose "Carmen”

“What’s your name?” she asked.

He answered “B.J. Titsengolf.”

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My Grandad died because he ate a tub of varnish thinking it was honey.

A sad end, but he had a great finish.

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Was given some Sudoku toilet paper at Christmas. Took me ages to figure out you can only fill it with number 1’s and number 2’s.

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