very…disturbing
Just wanted to ‘Brighton’ your day?
What do cows read the most?
Cattle-logs
An Elderly man walks into a bar in London, orders 3 glasses of beer and sits in the backyard of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes, he comes back to the bar counter and orders 3 more.
The bartender asks him,
“You know, beer goes flat after I fill it in the glass; it would taste better if you buy one at a time.
The Old man replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Dubai, the other in Canada and I’m here in London.
When they left home, we promised that we’ll drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.
The bartender admits this is a nice custom and leaves it there.
The old man became a regular in the bar and would always drink the same way.
He’d order 3 Beers and drink them in turn.
One day, he came in and ordered only 2 Beers.
All the other regulars notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,
“I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my sincere condolences on your great loss.”
The Old man looked confused for a moment, and then he laughs…
“Oh, no, no……”
He said, “Everyone’s fine; both my brothers are alive. The only thing is…I have quit drinking. “
A variation on one of my mums favourite jokes.
I didn’t know that helicopters were now classified as sharks!
Particularly for a beachcomber!
Yes, indeed. I have seen some disturbing sights on beaches, but that would be very worrisome!
I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred in the shower. The number one answer was “Get the hell out of here!”
Want some fun? Pick a random car and leave a note on it saying “I know what you did”
I’m awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.
Interviewer: So where do you see yourself in five years?
Me: I’d say my biggest weakness is listening.