You’ve won the internet today 
Forwarded to a number of engineers of my acquaintance (plus those related to me)!
That reminds me of Elon Musk’s SpaceX project’s ’rapid unscheduled disassembly’.
In that spirit another joke:
‘I’m sorry but the course for handling disappointments has been cancelled’.
That’s a shame.
Bloke goes into a pub with an octopus under his arm. Walks up to the bar and says “a pint of Guiness please and scotch for the octopus”. Barmaid says "thats an unusual pet you have. We don’t get too many octopi in here, especially ones who drink scotch.
“It’s a remarkable octopus” says the guy, “It can play any instrument that you care to give it”. “In fact, so confident am I of his prowess that I’ll give a thousand pounds to anyone who can give him an instrument that he can’t play”.
As the evening progresses the octopus is presented with a whole range of instruments from a violin to a saxaphone and proves a virtuoso on all of them despite downing several large whiskeys.
Word of this remarkable performance spreads and eventually a scotsman enters the pub carrying a set of bag pipes which he places before the octopus who for the first time seems a tad perpexed as he crawles over it examining the pipes and bag with quivering tenticles.
The Scotsman is delighted and demands his thousand. “Not so fast” says the octopus keeper. “once he’s found out that he can’t f**k it he’ll play it”.
Got a medical form to complete the other day.
First note was "When coming into hospital take all your medicines and tablets. I did and nearly od’d.
It asked me if I drink alcohol and how much. I said yes, cider at £4 a pint.
It asked if I “Have you ever had an STI?” I put down no, but I currently drive an Astra.
Then it asked if I have ever had any problems with anesthesia. I put down no as she is my favourite American pop singer.
Finally it asked if I had any medical history. I said my medical history isn’t great but do know that Alexander Fleming discovered penicillin.