Best jokes

I’ve started a job as an Aircraft Baggage Handler.
I thought it was going to be easy, but there’s a lot to take on board.

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steve

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When your wife says “When you get a chance…” start putting your shoes on. She means NOW.

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But it still made you chuckle :joy:

American arrives in Ireland to play golf and goes to a club in Killarney. He asks if they have anyone who would play a round or two of golf with him? So they ask Michelene and he agrees to meet the American at 9.00 the following morning but says he might be half an hour late. Sure enough at 9 the follwing morning Michelene turns up with a set of left handed golf clubs and beats the American easily. The American asks if Michelene will play him the following day to which he agrees. Michelene tells him he might be 30 mins late. Following day arrives and this time he turns up at 9am with a set of right handed clubs and again he beats the American easily. The American wants another chance to beat him so asks him for another game the following day however curiousity gets the better of him so he asks Michelene how come he played with a left handed set of clubs the first day and right handed the second. Michelene says well if I wake up in the morning and my wife is lying on her left side I take my left handed clubs and if she lies on her right I take those. The American asks what happens if she is lying on her back well Michelene says I will be half an hour late.

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When a man says he’ll do something, he’ll do it. There’s really no need to remind him every six months.

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Michelene? Seriously? Is that some sort of distorted stereotype? Also, it’s Killarney not Killearney. :roll_eyes:

1 Like

I know a Michelene, she says it’s an old French Jewish name she inherited from her grandmother.

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What was her name before her grandmother passed away?

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image

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The joke was as told to me by an Irish guy. Apologies for the spelling mistake but for god’s sake get a grip. There are enough jokes re Scots that are stereotypical on here I could spend hours complaining about.

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No requirement for any Irish or other national connection I’d say … the joke stands by itself by just saying “a local golfer”

Yep, you’d be fine with say Trevor in Hertfordshire, or Chuck in Nebraska, Wayne in NSW even, but heaven forbid you mention the Irish in a joke…You fool.

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“He asks if they have anyone who would play a round or two of golf with him”

Nobody plays two rounds of golf these days and with most tee times pre-booked just turning up at a course doesn’t make any sense.

Yeah. And who lies in 3 positions in bed anyway? Stupid joke. Never, ever tell it again. And say three Hail Marys and plead for forgiveness while you’re about it.

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And remember if you drink, don’t drive. In fact don’t even putt.

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I bought a wig for £1 - it was a small price toupee

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Oh crap - have I offended bald blokes?

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Blimey - I thought I was sometimes guilty of trampling all over a perfectly reasonable joke with inconvenient facts, but I’m a positive amateur compared to some of our fellow posters here.

Mark

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