I’m certainly not a fan of the taste of broccoli, but the smell of it cooking always puts me off well ahead of time, anyway.
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Of course, and would show a lack of ‘class’!
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Last time I was in a hotel I asked for the porn to be disabled - they apologised and said they only had the regular…
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Saw this on another forum.
My wife wants me to take her to Las Vegas to see the Temptations. Instead I am going to take her to Primark to get her Four Tops.
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Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, “I can make the boss give me the day off.”
The man replies, “And how would you do that?”
The woman says, “Just wait and see.”
She then hangs upside down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, “What are you doing?”
The woman replies, “I’m a light bulb.”
The boss then says, “You’ve been working so much you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.”
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, “Where are you going?”
The man says, “I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark.”
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A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:
Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. “Business trip or pleasure?”
She turned, smiled and said. “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston.”
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked. “What’s your Business at this convention?"
“Lecturer." She responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”
“Really?” He said. “And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well.” She explained. “One popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."
Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed… “I’m Sorry.” She said, “I shouldn’t really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t even know your name."
“Tonto.” The man said. "Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba
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Why is it so hard to get a qsn stick in the right way?
Dammit, I mean a usb
steve
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Have you seen someone desperate for a leek on a Sunday afternoon in the farm shop …
Please note my spelling of a leek
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Despite the spelling Ian, it still sounds wrong when you read it…
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Not really a joke, but it seems the best place to put this. In the (micro)pub tonight with a few friends and a friend of a friend. We got round to comparing scars. I had a giggle with a hernia scar and a line on the back of my hand caused by a loose seat frame on a RouteMaster bus. There was a decent line down a calf that was caught on a railing in a park and three nasty looking rugby knee scars. The new guy had been laughing and commenting and wincing with us all. It was his turn and he said he only had one. He lifted his T-shirt and from his bellybutton to his armpit there was a curved livid line, ‘shark, Australia 2012.’ We all stood up and applauded. The others in the place wondered what was going on, so he showed them. The whole place was laughing and wincing at the same time. The general opinion was that he would always win pub scar competitions, because of the size and cause of his marking. I’ve seen longer scars, but shark beats any knife.
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