Never seen a chair fly, but our exercise books were regularly flight-tested over 3+ rows of desks – until, when landing one day, the book hit an open bottle of Quink as the recipient was re-filling their fountain pen…another reason why the school blazers were dark blue !
Ours were a crack shot with the old blackboard duster.
DG…
So was my first Latin teacher. Blackboard rubber before lunch, but the flat of his hand after his alcoholic lunch…
I just broke 2 of my old Queen records.
Now I want to break three.
We had a blackboard monitor who was put in charge of the 'duster, as they regularly disappeared, mainly as our class nicked them from other rooms - oh yes, the pilfering started at a young age m’lud. Little minds and all that…
Many were painted to disguise their provenance 
Mind you, such offences became only ‘taken in to consideration(s)’ when the class idiot was ejected from a ground floor window without injury, taking much of a hedge with him before he landed. We were all given a piece of paper and told to write down who threw him out – I think the code of silence held.
To be clear, the primary concern was the damage done to the hedge !!
I hope you all wrote ‘Spartacus’.
Oh, we had that once. Something went missing out of a desk and Mr Creasely gave us all a bit of paper and asked us to anonymously write down who did it if we knew.
Some furtive glances around the room, would we all stick together on this? With no-one breaking ranks? Dead right, we all wrote ‘It was Barry!’
The cheese board is excellent
I’ve just Fostered a young lad.
I managed to throw the 4 empty tins at his head.
I hope you didn’t drink the stuff first.
steve
A 50-year-old billionaire walks into a pub with his 25-year-old girlfriend.
His buddy asked him how he managed to get a girl half his age. The billionaire replied, “I lied about my age.”
His friend asked, “You told her you were 40?”
No said the billionaire, “I told her I was 90.”
A true story, but a funny one.
During the Summer of 1940 Winston Churchill visited Dover on a couple of occasions, which was pretty much the front line, being frequently bombed by the Luftwaffe and then shelled from the French coast. 70 seconds for a shell to fly over the channel and land randomly in and around the town. Not fun.
Lots of town residents left or were evacuated, while everyone who remained were waiting for the invasion. To improve morale, on his first visit Churchill gave orders to place some bigger guns around the town to retaliate.
In the meantime on one of his visits he was shown what were then the two biggest guns on the south coast, spares from King George V, already installed as a temporary fix.
“They both have names” he was advised by the orderly, “This one’s called Winnie!”
“Splendid” said Churchill “It wasn’t my given name at my baptism, but I very much appreciate the sentiment. What’s the other one called?
“Uh, it’s called Pooh sir…”
From todays newspaper:-
To the person who stole my camouflage jacket & flip-flops. You can hide but you can’t run.
