I heard they left the one who’d been drinking battery acid in a dry cell for the night.
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It was 12 years ago today that my mate James came running out of the room shouting “It’s a boy, it’s a boy”, with tears streaming down his face.
We never went back to Thailand after that.
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Both Cream and The Jam were going to reunite for gigs in Devon and Cornwall this year, but the venues couldn’t agree who should go on first.
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A text message between a Judas and St Peter
Judas: We still on for Thursday?
Peter: Thursday?
Judas: yeah, the last supper.
Peter: Last supper?
Judas: uhh I mean supper, just ordinary supper with the fellas lol.
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Google Calendar has just reminded me that today is Epiphany.
I know that should mean something, but I can’t remember what. Maybe I’ll have some sort of realisation at some point today…
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In my experience it’s the middle ‘X’, with an upside-down rectangular brick, thats the real killer.
G
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Brilliant!
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I have a friend called, Jay.
We call him J for short.
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I have friends who swear they dream in colour… i think it’s just a pigment of their imagination.
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My friend David had his ID stolen the other day.
Now we just call him Dav.
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Chris Eubank has written a book about ethics.
If it’s successful he is going to write another one about Kent
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My mate phoned to say he’s changed his name to “Spinal Column”.
I said "Can I call you back?..
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I’m about to attend my first dental appointment in over 35 years…
i’d better go brush my tooth.
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A government survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to this country so that they can see their own doctor.
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Just got back from delivering a big roll of bubble wrap and I’m exhausted.
Was told to " just pop it in the corner"
Took me 5 hours.
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Have you heard about these new corduroy pillows?
They’re making headlines.
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