Just as well it doesn’t, then!
Nice one Ebor, and …
… it’s nice that you have also joined the ‘rambling nonsense’ club after all …
Am I bovvered tho’…?
Gone.
Resistance is useless. It comes to us all.
The self-deprecation society is just now starting to take applications for new members.
I’ve already put myself down.
A serious topic, not to be treated lightly.
Which, of course, it doesn’t.
We have at least 10 different ones (and it may be more!).
Bin there …
I was a mite disappointed meeself …
I’m not still there…
Hi Max
It is English as a second language, in other words the pupils don’t have the same understanding as most English speakers and they don’t understand the message which is why they are sat there waiting for the lesson which isn’t going to happen
Best wishes
Ian
PS it took me several minutes to work it out
Thanks. Looks like I should sit in that classroom too…
It took several minutes and several attempts
Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar…
Tiger turns to Stevie and says, “How’s the singing career going?”
Stevie replies, “Not too bad. How’s the golf?”
Woods replies, “Not too bad, I’ve had some problems with my swing, but I think I’ve got that right, now.”
Stevie: “I always find when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right.”
Incredulous, Tiger says, “You play GOLF?”
“Yes, I’ve been playing for years.”
“But you’re blind! How can you play golf if you can’t see?”
Stevie: “Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice.”
“But, how do you putt” asks Tiger.
“Well”, says Stevie, “I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice.”
“What’s your handicap?”
“Well, actually — I’m a scratch golfer.”
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, “We’ve got to play a round sometime.”
“Well, people don’t take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem?”
Woods thinks about it and says, “I can afford that; OK, I’m game… $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?”
“Pick a night.”
Last Summer, a group of South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off a Bridge. So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, “Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin’ up there on that railin’?”
She says tearfully, “I’m going to commit suicide!”
While he didn’t want to appear “sensitive,” George also didn’t want to miss this “be-a-legend” opportunity either, so he asked “Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe, why don’t you give ol’ George here your best last kiss?”
With no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that. It was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and says, “Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had! That’s a real talent you’re wasting there, Sugar Shorts.
You could be famous if you rode with me. Why are you committing suicide?”
“My parents don’t like me dressing up like a girl.”
It’s still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.
The teacher phoned little Johnny’s dad and said she was worried about his gambling in school, he was betting on anything, and he was very good at it, because he was always winning, taking all the kids pocket money, calculators, even some of their watches. Dad said they should try and think of something to stop it… a few days later the teacher phoned him back and said she thinks she has solved the problem, when Johnny’s dad asked how she said… well I asked him to stay behind after class to talk about his gambling and suddenly Johnny asked me if I was a natural blonde, when I said I was, he said he didn’t believe me, so I bet him everything he had, which was £110. that I was, he said prove it, so as nobody was around I lifted my skirt pulled my panties down, proved it and won all his money, I hope that taught him a lesson…
The dad… the little sh*t, he bet me £500 this morning he’d see your pu**y by the end of the day…
Gone.