Reminds me of my first goth girl crush.
3 Likes
How do you titillate an ocelot?
Oscillate it’s tit a lot.
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Titter Ye Not. 
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Two lads are standing at either side of a river facing each other.
One lad shouts. “ How do I get to the other side of the river” ?
The other lad shouts “You’re already on the other side”
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How do you make a Swiss roll?
How do you make a Maltese cross?
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You stamp on his foot and then push him down the hill.
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I don’t think mine is there anymore.
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A Barnsley girl goes to the dole office to register for child benefit
“How many children?” asks the welfare officer.
“Ten” replies the Barnsley girl.
“Ten?” says the welfare worker.
“What are their names?”
“Brayden, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden, Brayden and Brayden” she says.
“Doesn’t that get confusing?”
“Naah…” says the Barnsley girl, “It’s great because if they’re out playing in the street I just have to shout ‘Brayden yer dinner’s ready!’ or ‘Brayden go to bed now!’ and they all do it”
“What if you want to speak to one individually?” says the curious welfare worker.
“That’s easy,” says the Barnsley girl. “I just use their surnames.”
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It may sound like a joke but there are certainly areas where it works that way.
Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever.
We call those people cops.
10 Likes
Ain’t it funny how sharks can smell blood,
dogs can smell drugs -
but some humans can’t smell themselves when they need deodorant!!
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