Best jokes

By the way - what was wrong with my Euro note picture?

Political?

Possibly - though it didn’t seem political to me, particularly. Ah well.

Same as my comment regarding a continental quilt…

My wife has been diagnosed with Terry’s chocolate orange syndrome.
I’m in two minds about having her sectioned.

11 Likes

There might be a typo in the letter I got from the bowel health clinic. Either that or they want me to send them a ship in a bottle.

8 Likes

I put out a tweet asking people to recommend their favourite version of “The First Time Ever I saw Your Face”, but adding that I didn’t think anyone could surpass Ewan McColl’s original.

I’m definitely going to get some Flack for that.

8 Likes

The Furniture store keeps calling me.
All I wanted was one night stand.

4 Likes

1 Like

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I took my pet Chameleon to the vet. It stopped changing colour.
They said it has reptile dysfunction.

5 Likes

Thanks to FB and ‘off the leash’.

5 Likes

What do you call a cow with two legs ?
Lean beef.

4 Likes

What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no penis?
Still no f*****g idea

5 Likes

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Post the broadcast of episodes of Love Island on the island of Lilliput, Mattel have received a significant order for talking Barbie and Ken dolls.

Mattel will package the dolls with stickers advising their vocabulary surpasses that of many of the contestants on the show.

9 Likes

Frightening Statistics

9 Likes

Monday - Greg
Tuesday - Ian
Wednesday - Greg
Thursday - Ian
Friday - Greg
Saturday - Ian
Sunday - Greg

The Gregorian calendar!

27 Likes

Thanks to a gardening page on FB for this … and I thought round holes were bad and perhaps this should be on the cricket thread too!

6 Likes

IMG-20200205-WA0006

6 Likes