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This is not the time to be positive…
A video from FB. Enjoy.
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There’s been a run on toilet paper. But at least last night’s curry was particularly good.
Amidst the food shortages two potential suspects have been identified in Cirencester; they were eyeing up the sausages through the butcher’s window. The police have been notified…
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They look like a likely bunch of criminals, I’ll keep my eye for this pair.
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Does anyone want to buy 150 scotch eggs or 100 pork pies?
I misread the news and thought everyone was picnic buying!!!
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At a monastic meeting in the middle ages the abbots were around the refectory table, talking.
“Unfortunately, we are having to deal with an increased number of leprosy cases” said Father Nathaniel. “I am rather worried for my brethren.”
“Oh dear” consoled Father Urban “Have you tried giving them the pancake and kipper diet?”
“Why, no we haven’t. Are pancakes and kippers good for leprosy Father?”
“Christ knows. But they’re the easiest things to get under the door.”
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Oh cheers.
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Thats your life savings ripped to shreds. 
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We have it under control.
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The UK Government is asking all citizens to receive a CV test by posting for analysis a stool sample to 10 Downing Street. Westminster. SW1A 2AA.
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That is really good. Took me a few seconds to twig it.
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Funny Relevant Facebook Video