The Power of Music

Music Room
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Some of you may have seen my thread in ‘The Lounge’ (in one of the two Football threads) about the sudden loss of my wife last week.

This afternoon, trying to kill a couple of hours, I put on some music & was instantly reminded of some good musical times we shared together.

My hero is, & always been, a bloke who plays guitar. What’s his name? I remember now, Eric Clapton. First time I saw him live was in Birmingham in 1998 & is a night I’ll never forget. My wife wasn’t a fan but came with me, from Cornwall, because she thought she should. I thought he was sensational & at the end my wife said, “I understand what all the fuss is about now”. She then added, “Mind you, with all his money you would have thought that he could have dressed up a bit rather than perform in his gardening jeans & T-shirt…”

I was not a great fan of Elton John so when she announced she wanted to see him live, again in Birmingham, I had to act the loyal husband & go with her. What a surprise! The only superstar I have seen who radiated the superstar aura about him when he came on stage before he even started playing! Him & his band were totally brilliant & I remain a big fan to this day.

We have both always liked Genesis. We are not well travelled, other than two fantastic holidays to the States. The second of these accidently coincided with their 2007 performance at Madison Square Garden. What a thrill that was for both of us.

Topping all of these wonderful musical experiences for Julie however were the three occasions she went by herself early this century, to Manchester, Birmingham & Cardiff to see her equivalent of my Eric Clapton,…David Cassidy! I had to offer to go with her but she wanted to go alone (thank god) in case he caught her eye & decided she really was the one for him. In Cardiff she got a cancellation ticket with a group of similar aged women, all mid-forties at the time, & found herself front row, centre stage about ten feet from him for two hours. She swears he caught her eye more than once! “Good music?” I asked. “Rubbish”, she replied, “but the best concert I have been to…”.

Listening to some old favourites this afternoon bought all these memories back. Hope you don’t mind me posting.

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Sorry for your loss. Please post your memories any time.

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You may care to see my post yesterday, here:-

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Lovely post mate. Keep her memories alive in whatever way you can. Sounds like you were very much a happy couple.

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Canaryfan. I am very sorry to hear of your loss and what sounds like a wonderful life journey you had together. Music like photos are a time machine which are unique to you. Thanks for sharing this musical memory/ journey. Please take care and be kind to yourself.

ATB Graham.

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I think we were pretty normal. Would have been married 45 years next month, much to Julie’s annoyance at times.

Fortunately we didn’t really argue much but, like many couples our age, bickered a lot! Mostly forgotten the next day.

No children by choice but Julie’s beloved cats, especially the current 14 year old Sophie, were loved way beyond most children are!

Only thing I had to be careful of was, once she found she would get my pension pot tax free if I died before reaching 75, was making sure she was in front of me when walking down stairs together…

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Very sorry to hear of your terrible tragic loss. I cannot imagine how are you are feeling.

I have found that music is a wonderful medium for helping come to terms with, and progress beyond, personal tragedy such as bereavement. Its cathartic ability is second to none, as its ability to transport you in time, to particular places and events and relive the good times, as you have noted. If posting here helps at all, please do so.

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I’m so sorry to hear your news CF, that is just about the most devastating thing that can happen to you, to lose the love of your life so suddenly and so young. I hope that the music brings you some solace, my thoughts are with you.

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Condolences.

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So sorry for your loss. Music is an evocative reminder of happy times. I wish you all the best through these difficult days.

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How absolutely awful, @Canaryfan. I can but add my sympathies and, if I may, prayers to those already proffered.

I’m not trying to make any comparison other than that of relationship and timing, but my wife was operated on for a brain tumour last week which had only been discovered the previous week. She seems to be recovering well so far, but the experience has not had much to recommend it, to say the least. To say that it is a reminder of what a slender thread all our lives hang by is a woeful understatement.

It is inspiring and moving to see how you are able to share touching and positive insights with us. Thank you.

Mark

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Dear Canaryfan,

I’m very sorry to hear of your loss. Please accept my condolences.

You have told us of some lovely memories you have of your life with your late wife and I am sure that they will give you much comfort. The music too, will give comfort, but also moments of awful longing and an aching heart.

Like all of our forum colleagues, I wish you well and hope that the pain of today will develop into a quiet appreciation of your many wonderful times together.

Best wishes,

Brian D.

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Best wishes for your wife’s recovery Mark.

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Not at all, and i know and have felt exactly where you are coming from. I lost my wife in 2010 and we shared lots an lots of musical memories over the years we were together. Obviously i have moved on since that loss but she is still in my mind and in my heart. When you mentioned David Cassidy that is what brought me into very sharp focus :joy:
As a teenager i never did pay any attention to him, but my wife loved him. It’s only since i actually started playing and properly listening to his music in the last 3 years or so that i come to realise why she licked him. The strange thing is, it’s not until i played “Cherish” that i really came to realise how good an artiste he actually was.
I’m sorry for your loss, but don’t ever not look with tears for that loss…look back with joy for the good time that you both enjoyed.

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Sorry for your loss, glad you shared those stories. Take care.

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The most disturbing thing I’ve read on a forum in an age :slight_smile:

When my wife and I first met I bought her U2 tickets for Roundhay. My idea of hell but had to be done. A gesture described as “presumptuous” by a droll female colleague we’re still friends with thirty one years later. That’s because I bought the tickets in February just after we confirmed we were in a relationship and the gig was something like August.

Casting my mind back now to remember those gigs I dragged my wife to. A fantastic Jonathan Richman gig where she nearly fainted but came out with that stupid grin everyone does after they’ve seen him live. Then there was Solomon Burke. The only gig I have ever insisted I wanted to be first in the queue (and mission accomplished). We stood at the front dead centre and Solomon, as was his wont, always chose a woman to sing to throughout the gig. He chose Mrs. H. She got a rose; a signed CD single of Don’t Give Up On Me and he reduced her to tears in a good way.

We will overlook the fact I nearly went out for a meal with an ex that night as I’d forgotten it was our unofficial 10th anniversary :person_facepalming:

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Hello, when I was trapped in a hotel room , in a foreign country with Covid the very generous people on this forum were so supportive at a time I was quite literally alone and very isolated

My very best wishes at this time

Ian
PS Saw both Clapton and Elton on the same bill at Wembley Stadium , Clapton’s style far better suited

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I was once in a meeting with the late, not greatly missed, Robert Maxwell MC.

He was on a speakerphone call to Elton John, who was performing in a Christmas pantomime somewhere in London’s West End.

At one point in the conversation, Maxwell pressed the mute button, and said to me: ‘What you’ve got to understand is that he’s dressed up like a Christmas tree.’

I still find that funny over 30 years on!

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Before last weeks tragic events I would have felt for you & your wife but wouldn’t have posted.

I feel a bit different now, after finding that good wishes from basically complete strangers do offer small comfort, & send you both my best wishes for a successful outcome & very speedy recovery.

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Very tragic news. I do hope you find peace and some solace through the music you have enjoyed. She will be waiting for you.

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